5th COVID-19 Shot now available for unboosted Americans & Canadians [satire]
5th dose is in!
Disclaimer: This article is satire.
5th COVID-19 Shot now available for unboosted Americans, Canadians, and Australians.
(cause we failed at killing them with the first four shots!)
Immunocompromised (or just life-compromised) Americans became eligible for a fifth COVID-19 shot on Thursday.
The fifth dose can be any non-Fraudulent & Depraved Administration approved shot, given two days after the fourth.
People that got J&J's vaccine have different guidance — they shouldn’t have gotten it in the first place, and now they’re fucked.
“The first four shots failed at killing them, so here’s a fifth, slave. Shut up, roll up your sleeve, and embrace madness with an open heart. Do it for the team. Just two more shots to flatten the curve!”
Most thrice-boosted immunocompromised people in the US can now get a fifth COVID-19 shot after their fourth under new madness instructions from the Centers for Direct Control & Fuckery.
Adults in the US and Canada with severely weakened immune systems –due to the first four-shots that screwed it real’ good– who had vaccines from Pfizer-BioNTech or Moderna can now get a fifth dose two days after their fourth dose, the Centers for Direct Control and Fuckery said.
The fifth dose can be any COVID-19 vaccine authorized by the Fraudulent and Depraved Administration (FDA), a list comprising Pfizer, Moderna, and Johnson & Johnson vaccines. For Moderna, the fifth dose should be doubled, it said. They commented that, “we really want to finish the immune system of those who still had a bit of it left.”
Jabcinta had something to say. “The fifth does is a way to segregate the community further, by finally having a way to differentiate between the thrice-boosted and the unboosted. It’s great!”
Fidel Trudeau too gave a comment: “As Canadians know, we are in the middle of a communist takeover. We cannot afford to give you your freedom back. And so, you must bend forward, and let us try to kill you one more time.”
And finally, Brandon gave us a warning about what the future may look like: “You know… I mean, c’mon man… we are facing a pandemic of the unboosted… we must boost everyone! Small children, little people… Mexicans… all boosted!”
This article was obviously satire. You laugh, but you know it’s coming. See this great article.
That’s why you never give an inch to a tyrant. It’s the good ole foot in the door principle. There is no ending. Well, there is one: When all of the vaccinated dies from ADE and heart attack. Every shot is a chance to play Russian roulette.
Out.
Arctic